Winding Down

As my time here in Amman winds down, with almost exactly two weeks (!!!) left, I can't help but feel like I have been utterly irresponsible in cataloging and documenting this experience. The small journal I bought to record my life here has gone mostly unused- minus all the grocery and to-do lists- and this blog has been a burden to update, thanks to crappy wi-fi, making it a few and far between process.

There are so many small things, little memories, that I should have written down that are already gone. There are so many more that will be gone in a year, two, five.

Will I remember stealing water from my building mates because we ran out and the water guy doesn't come for another two days?

Will I remember the week and a half I took freezing showers because the hot water mysteriously decided to skip our floor?

Will I remember the time I walked home, by myself, all the way from University Street, and it took me an hour and a half and my feet hurt because I wore flats that day but it was worth it because for the first time I didn't feel trapped?

Will I remember what the cats that live in the lot across the street look like? Will I remember that my favorite, the brown tabby, had eyes the same color that lights up the minarets at night?

Will I remember the feeling I get when the call to prayer starts and I make myself stop for a moment, close my eyes, and just listen?

Will I remember the nights arguing about politics and foreign policy and we're all disagreeing but the passion is so raw and real that nobody is angry? (Well, maybe a little angry).

Maybe I'll forget the pancake breakfasts with the boys after late nights and the procrastination cookies I make with Katie when we want to pretend like we don't have responsibilities.

Maybe, but I hope not.